Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
