K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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