I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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