She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize