I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
