I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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