hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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