why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
