So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize