Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Farmville is her only friend.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
