If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
