Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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