i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
