:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
