yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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