Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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