pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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