Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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