Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
this boner is exhausting
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
