I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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