Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize