I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
