Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize