margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
