my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
