come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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