My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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