I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She bit a glass in half.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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