I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize