it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
