this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
