is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
