batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize