You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
