Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
