I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
