I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
