You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
