Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
