Do you still have your period?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize