He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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