My nipple is on Facebook.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
last night I used snow as a chaser
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize