you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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