if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
