i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize