The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
