I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
