is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
