Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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