my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
