In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
