Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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