So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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