dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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