watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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