I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
