does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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