bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
