And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
