we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
