So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
