What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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