p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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