I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
