my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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