He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
