I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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