We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i drank out of a bidet.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
