when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
